Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize