How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
NoShamevember. You game?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
