38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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