ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
