buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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