You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
