I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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