We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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