why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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