white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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