i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
