I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
