your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
