She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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