Ambien. No doubt about it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
