A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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