we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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