come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
