just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He is an equal opportunity slut.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
