Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
