i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
