Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize