I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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