3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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