Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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