So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
