You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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