i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
