this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
