Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
