hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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