You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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