the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
