i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize