Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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