He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
