Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
