My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My underwear smells like fireworks.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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