Can i not drive my cunt home
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
