I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize