just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
