I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
