i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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