I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
