They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
