Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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