Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize