Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
