hotel room ftw
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
