white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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