Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
