your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
