I think I died a long time ago.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
