I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
