His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
