So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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