I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Someone came in the potted fern
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
