It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
