he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
