school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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