Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
