So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
