I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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