I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
