Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize