Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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