I heard we made out
What a fucking waste of an outfit
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
