the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I didn't notice because vodka
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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