Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
