Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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