I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
