It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
