Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
