Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize