Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
