Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize